to a Southern woman

Excerpt, towards the end, from my longwinded response to a personal by a woman claiming to have a Southern accent. If my housemate finds out about this, I may be dead, though I hope he would laugh instead:

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If you don't think the above sounds promising, you should still meet me, because then you may be able to seduce my housemate. He is a shy, serious, polite, handsome and hardworking boy (ok, he's 30 or something) with an athletic build and a warm Tennessee accent, and he misses how people act at home. It would be like shooting a gar in a barrel, if you had a barrel that long. (And a gar that short.)

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Keep in mind that in the future this kid will be laughing all the way to the bank, while I'll probably be trying to start a fire by rubbing together two francs ancien (or is it ancienne?). Even pennies would be too expensive, let alone a pair of sticks made from real wood.

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(update: It didn't work.)